


An Ineffable Wedding

by White_Phoenix (Motevia)



Series: An Ineffible Love [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: (eventually) - Freeform, Angel Redemption, Archangels have to learn from Aziraphale, BAMF!Aziraphale, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Bridezilla Crowley, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Frottage, Getting Together, God Ships It, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Other, Past Drug Use, Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), Wedding Fluff, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-08-14 14:53:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20194078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Motevia/pseuds/White_Phoenix
Summary: Aziraphale thinks that it's finally time that they display their romantic feelings for each other. What better way to do that than to have a wedding to celebrate with their closest friends?





	1. The Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> This is not complete yet, but I do have a general idea of where I want it to go. It's been a while since I've written anything, so please bear with me!

# Chapter 1: The Proposal

“We should get married.”

Crowley coughed and sputtered the wine that had suddenly gone up into his sinuses. Whatever he was expecting Aziraphale to say to break the comfortable silence, it obviously hadn’t been this. Aziraphale leaned over and clapped Crowley on the back as the coughing continued. They may not need to breathe, being paranormal beings and all, but it was still quite uncomfortable when something went where it didn’t belong.

“Are you alright, my dear?” Aziraphale inquired.

“_What did you just say?_” Crowley demanded.

Aziraphale frowned, concerned, “I asked if you’re alright.”

“No, not _that_. The other thing!”

“Oh! Um… I merely suggested that we should get married,” replied Aziraphale. Sure, they’d been drinking a little bit, but he didn’t think he was tossed enough that Crowley wouldn’t be able to understand him. He was then concerned when Crowley’s eyebrows shot up towards his hairline and his mouth gaped open. It flopped closed and open like a fish gasping for air and Aziraphale would have found it funny if he weren’t so confused by Crowley’s response. Had he said something wrong? Oh dear.

While Crowley seemed to be composing himself, Aziraphale looked around the back room of his bookshop and he could feel his face beginning to blush. He hadn’t been expecting a huge reaction from Crowley. After all, showing dramatic romantic emotion wasn’t really his thing as he tended to play it off as casual. But Aziraphale had hoped Crowley would show just a bit of happiness instead of… well, whatever this was. He was sure he hadn’t read Crowley’s feelings for him wrong. They’d been orbiting each other for over 6000 years at this point. They knew everything there was to know about each other. Aziraphale was sure that Crowley felt romantic attraction towards him. Didn’t he? He forced himself to look back at his love’s beautiful serpentine eyes and suddenly started to wonder if he had finally stepped too far.

“Well, if you don’t want to, it’s not that big of a deal.” And it wasn’t really. They’d been together this long, so it wasn’t like solidifying their feelings for each other with a ceremony was really necessary. Yet why was his heart racing and stomach churning with nerves? “I just know it’s something humans do to show the world and God Herself that they intend to be together forever. And it’s just that we now have all of these human friends and I thought it would be nice to have everyone together to celebrate since Heaven and Hell can no longer hold us back...” He was rambling and he knew it, but the demon still hadn’t said anything and it was making him even more nervous.

After a few minutes of charged silence, Crowley finally closed his mouth. He took a deep intake of breath before finally saying, “Angel… why would we get married?”

Now Aziraphale was just a little exasperated and he huffed. “My dear, I just said why. Weren’t you listening?”

Crowley waived his hand dismissively and replied, “Yeah, I got that. But, ‘Zira…” here his brows furrowed and he tilted his head to the side as he spoke slowly like he was explaining something to a child. Aziraphale tried to keep from huffing again. “…marriage is between two people who love each other in a romantic relationship. Not just best friends.”

Now it was the angel’s turn to be confused. So he moved closer to Crowley on the sofa so that their knees were touching and grabbed the demon’s hand, “But… we are in a romantic relationship, are we not? I mean, well… of course you’re my best friend and I love you in that way as well, but we’ve had romantic feelings for each other for a long time now and I thought that since we have mutual friends who care about us greatly it would be time for us to finally display it in a human fashion.”

Crowley looked down at their entwined hands and back up at Aziraphale’s eyes. He looked like he was about to bolt. That was the last thing the angel wanted, so Aziraphale took Crowley’s wine glass out of his other hand and set it on the table before holding that hand as well and bringing them both together on their touching knees. “My dear, I still don’t understand the confusion here.” Then it dawned on him and Aziraphale was certain he’d read their relationship wrong. Oh, this was humiliating! His chest felt tight and he was sure he was going to cry. Crowley was going to leave him for sure now. What a fool he’d been! Of course Crowley didn’t feel that way for him. He felt lightheaded and if he were human he was sure he would have started hyperventilating. He looked down at the carpet and tried to blink away the tears before attempting to pull away his hands.

Crowley tightened their grip and It seemed that he was finally feeling a bit more grounded as he finally said, “Aziraphale, what makes you think we’ve been in a romantic relationship? We’ve never had sex, we don’t live together… Hell, we’ve never even kissed!”

Aziraphale was now losing the battle with his emotions as he felt a tear drop and slide down his cheek. His throat felt impossibly tight, but he managed to choke out, “Well see… none of those things are necessary to be in a romantic relationship. There are plenty of people who don’t feel sexual attraction and have perfectly healthy romantic relationships,” here his speech started speeding up again with nerves, “And I was going to ask you where you might want to live once we got married but I do know how much you love having your own space. As for kissing, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to! I just know you’re not big on displays of affection and I thought you weren’t interested. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll retire for the evening and we’ll forget this ever happened, yes? Yes.”

At this he finally pulled his hands away and got up to leave. He’d make himself some hot cocoa and curl up with a book. Oh who was he kidding? He was going to cry through the night and wait a few centuries for this to blow over. Hopefully it wouldn’t be 80 or more years before he saw the demon again. But Crowley was good at taking long naps to avoid uncomfortable situations. Maybe it was Aziraphale’s turn to give it a try.

Just as he turned and took a step, he felt a hand on his arm pull him back around. Suddenly Crowley was towering over him impossibly close and Aziraphale felt his heart stop as he stared into those gorgeous yellow eyes yet again. He was most surprised to find a soft smirk on Crowley’s lips and tried to prepare himself for any ribbing the demon was going to give him. Yet it never came. Instead the demon’s other hand came up and cradled his cheek. His thumb swiped away the tear track before his face came closer and… OH! Well, that was nice.


	2. Is That A Yes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A proper answer to Aziraphale's suggestion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow! An update already. Even I didn't expect this. Enjoy!

# Chapter 2: Is That A Yes?

Aziraphale couldn’t hold back the little intake of air at the surprise of finally feeling Crowley’s lips on his own. It wasn’t the most perfect kiss as Crowley’s lips were just a little bit chapped from the wine. But it was Crowley, so that made the kiss perfect to Aziraphale. After a few heartbeats he realized that he should probably reciprocate. So before Crowley could think about pulling back again, Aziraphale wrapped his arms around the demon’s neck and took the initiative to pull himself closer to his love. 

The hand on his arm moved down to his waist and Aziraphale could feel the warmth through his waistcoat and shirt. It was absolutely heavenly and he wanted more as he let his own hands thread into the hair at the base of the demon’s skull. He could feel the demon’s lips pull up into a small smirk and the angel let out a little noise that he couldn’t tell whether was a squeak or a moan. It didn’t seem to matter to Crowley as Aziraphale then felt those wonderful lips open the slightest bit and he opened his own mouth to allow the demonic tongue entrance. At that point he knew the next noise he made was a moan because – God !- that was even better. 

Their tongues touched and retreated before coming back together over and over again. It was too much and yet not enough, but Aziraphale forced himself to eventually break away before touching his forehead to Crowley’s. He opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) and looked back into those bright yellow ones he adored so very much. “So… is… is that a yes to the whole wedding thing?”

The demon closed his eyes and chuckled. The angel could feel his chest move against his own before Crowley moved back just a fraction. “That depends, Angel. Was that an actual marriage proposal or merely a suggestion? I must admit I’m a bit put out that you didn’t plan something more… romantic, I suppose.”

Aziraphale stepped back a little so that his hands rested on the demon’s chest and looked down at his shoes. He really hadn’t thought this whole thing through, had he? “I, uhm… well that is to say… I didn’t think you’d… want that sort of thing? I mean, like I said, it’s not that we have to get married or anything if you don’t want to. I just thought it would be nice after everything we’ve gone through together. Now I’m starting to wonder if it was a bit silly of me.”

Crowley’s left hand came up to hold Aziraphale’s right one that was still against his chest, while his right hand came up to lift the angel’s gaze back to his own. “Aziraphale… do you want to get married if front of all of our friends?”

Aziraphale couldn’t deny it. The idea of dressing up and standing by his demon’s side in front of their friends and God very much sounded appealing. As did seeing their friends’ faces being happy to see them declare their love for each other. He could just picture everyone celebrating in the English countryside away from the business of the world. He and Crowley saying their vows of dedication to each other loud enough for God, Heaven, and even Hell to hear. There was also the matter of a wedding cake, but that was neither here nor there, was it? “Very much so.”

To his surprise, Crowley then got down on one knee in front of him and suddenly there was a bright gold ring in the shape of a serpent in-between Crowley’s finger and thumb. No doubt a small demonic miracle. Aziraphale’s mouth dropped open a little and his eyes teared up a bit as Crowley then said, “Aziraphale, my angel… will you marry me?”

Aziraphale’s breath hitched and his throat became a little constricted again, but this time he knew it was from sheer happiness. His mouth split into the widest smile he’d ever made as he looked down at his love’s face. The soft yellow glow of the lamplight glinted off of Crowley’s red spiky locks, giving them a slightly golden sheen. Crowley was looking directly at him and Aziraphale knew he’d never been this happy in all of his existence. If Crowley’s smile was any indication, he obviously felt the same. Finally Aziraphale choked out a soft, “Yes!” and shakily held out his left hand. The demon then proceeded to place the serpent ring on his finger and that’s when the angel noticed the small rubies that made the eyes of the snake. It was so beautiful and reminded Aziraphale of Crowley’s red colorings in snake form. 

Aziraphale grabbed both of Crowley’s hands and hauled him back up to standing before taking his face between his hands and kissing him again. Crowley’s arms wrapped around his lower back and pulled him in tighter. When he pulled back, Crowley was still beaming at him and Aziraphale finally said, “I love you, Crowley.”

“I love you too, Angel.” Aziraphale kissed him again… and again… and again. It was a little awkward as neither of them could stop smiling, but if Crowley’s enthusiasm was any indication he didn’t mind. Both of them could have stayed like that for eternity. Eventually they reluctantly pulled apart again and Aziraphale giggled softly. He could feel his cheeks starting to hurt from how hard he was smiling, but he didn’t care. Nothing could break the joy that he was feeling right now. He was engaged to the only person who had ever fully understood him. The one person in all of existence who never judged him for being different from other angels. After all, he was also different from what he was “supposed” to be and knew what it was like to not fit in. The one paranormal being who loved the Earth, humanity, and all of God’s other creations as much as he did. And now they were going to celebrate their love for each other in front of those they had chosen to share their lives with. 

Aziraphale felt positively giddy with love and excitement. He buried his face into the demon’s neck and just breathed in the spicy scent of his cologne and the unmistakable scent that was all Crowley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is going to be going through the whole wedding planning process, many discussions about plans for the future, and eventually the wedding itself. All of the normal engaged couple-y stuff. I don't know yet if their will be smut. Maybe I'll put something for the wedding night as a stand-alone chapter. I'm not sure yet. Feel free to let me know what you all think.


	3. Reflection

# Chapter 3: Reflection

They stayed like that for a while just holding each other in the soft golden glow of Aziraphale’s study. Aziraphale couldn’t believe how good it felt to be embraced by his demon. Sure, they’d embraced in the past. But those were fleeting moments that only came around when something bad happened- such as the burning of the Library of Alexandria. This was so much nicer than those times and he never wanted it to end. Yet he knew that they needed to talk. So he slowly stepped back and pulled Crowley to sit on the sofa yet again. The demon spread his arm across the back and Aziraphale took the opportunity to cuddle next to his love properly. He tried not to think of all of the missed opportunities that they could have done this before. They had their future to look forward to, after all.

“We’re engaged…” he breathed out into the comfortable silence. “We’re actually engaged. Can you believe it?”

He felt the chest under his hand move as Crowley took in a deep breath and let it out again. His voice was soft and low as though he didn’t really want to say what was coming next, “Nope. Didn’t think this would ever happen, honestly.”

Aziraphale’s heart clenched at that. Crowley seriously believed that, didn’t he? The blonde looked up and frowned, “You didn’t? Had you ever thought about it before?”

It was Crowley’s turn to blush and suddenly he was unable to meet the angel’s eyes. “Well, uh… there were some times that the thought had crossed my mind, yeah. I tried not to dwell on it too much, considering… you know,” he waived his hand carelessly, “Everything. Angel and demon with Heaven and Hell always on our backs. But there was only ever one person I’d thought of being by my side if I ever did choose to get married. Ha.. have you? Before today I mean.”

“Oh, my dear…” Aziraphale couldn’t hold back his grin as he snuggled closer to Crowley and hummed. “I thought about it many times over the centuries, love. Watching the humans profess their love and dedication to each other. So many stories and sonnets have been written about such romances. Do you remember that one wedding we both attended in France before the Arrangement? Christine de Pisan and Etienne du Castel? Oh, what year was that…?”

“1379, I believe. I hated the 14th century, but I do remember that day. They were truly in love, weren’t they? Tragic how that ended. You were very close with her and her father, weren’t you?”

Aziraphale sighed heavily, “Indeed. I was her tutor, you know. Her father hired me to teach her in ways of philosophy, science, and literature. She became quite fluent in Greek and Latin. Oh, King Charles V had such a grand library and she was by my side every day eager to learn.” He smiled fondly, remembering that great library of over 900 books and how the little girl’s eyes lit up when the king declared that she would be allowed an education just like the boys. “When her poor husband died I encouraged her to write for her love for him. Such a tragic time it was. That plague took so many good people. Yet that wedding was quite a lovely time. Plenty of wine and hors d’oeuvres. You were there to spread some mischief, weren’t you?”

“Oh, just a few temptations here and there,” replied Crowley, “What with the hardships the humans were facing at the time, I felt it inappropriate to do much more than little bits of lust and the snatching of coin purses.” At this Aziraphale’s heart filled even more with love. Crowley had had to do his job as a demon, but even during one of humanity’s darkest times he still knew when to draw the line. He really was a softie- not that Aziraphale would ever say this out loud, of course.

“Wedded couples back then wore red, I recall,” said Aziraphale, “I do believe you would look rather fetching in red for our wedding, my dear. Something to reflect your scales, I think.”

“Hmm… you might be on to something, Angel,” the demon responded, “Ssso I take it you like my scalesss, then?” 

Aziraphale held out his left hand and admired the serpent ring on his finger. The soft lamplight glinted off of the rubies so beautifully and as he looked closely he could see very tiny indentations that made it look like there were scales on the head. It reminded him of the times Crowley would turn into a snake for mischief (such as the Garden of Eden) or lying lazily along his bookshelves; scaring away potential customers. “Very much so, my dear.”

At this the demon took Aziraphale’s hand and brought it up to his mouth before lightly kissing the ring and knuckle. Aziraphale’s heart melted and he turned around to face Crowley properly. Crowley cradled the angel’s hand to his chest and Aziraphale came even closer before resting his chin near his hand in Crowley’s grasp. “We’re really doing this,” he whispered.

The look Crowley gave him was full of pure love and he smiled. “We’re really doing this.”

Aziraphale then giggled and pulled himself up further before granting his love a quick peck on the lips. “When?”

“When what?”

“When should we have the wedding? There’s so much we need to plan, you know.” Crowley’s breath hitched as though he hadn’t considered the wedding planning. For a flash Aziraphale was sure he saw a look of panic in Crowley’s eyes before it settled down again. He decided to take the pressure off of his soon-to-be-husband and said, “I was thinking the anniversary of the Apocalypse-that-didn’t-happen. Sure, it’s just a few days after Adam’s birthday. But I think having a wedding that day would be a nice way to celebrate with everyone, don’t you think?”

Crowley’s eyebrows drew down as he considered this. “That doesn’t give us much time, Angel. August is only 6 months away. Isn’t there a lot that goes into this kind of stuff?”

“We thwarted the apocalypse my dear. Planning a wedding can’t be any harder than that! Besides, we’ll have our friends to help us out. I also have a few books on wedding traditions around here. We’ll hire a wedding consultant to help us with the details.”

“I suppose that’s true. Humans have been doing it for a long time now. It can’t be that bad.”

“That’s the spirit!” cried Aziraphale before leaning up and kissing his love again, just because he could. “Oh, and I think we should invite some of the angles and demons.”

“_What?!_”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw- the bit about Christine de Pisan is all true. She was an Italian woman who grew up in France as her father worked for King Charles V. Her father went to the king and asked thought his daughter be granted an education just like the boys of court. King Charles not only allowed this, but gave her free reign of his enormous library. It is my personal headcanon that Aziraphale was responsible for her tutoring because there is no possible way he would have stayed away from a library that large. Christine de Pisan got married at the age of 15 and her husband was in full support of her educational passions. She actually became an author and a main feminist icon of the Middle Ages after her father and then husband both died. Seriously, go look her up. She's amazing.


	4. Ineffable Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gabriel is a dick, Aziraphale is a BAMF, and they get some surprise support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is longer than my other chapters! Enjoy! ;)

#  Chapter 4: Ineffable Support 

Heaven loves its paperwork. In fact, Heaven is notorious for it. Angels are bureaucrats, after all. However, there are no forms to handle this situation as it has never been attempted before. There has never been a moment in history when an angel and a demon chose to get married. Yet here Aziraphale and Crowley were, riding the escalator to Heaven together. As far as Heaven knew, this was Crowley’s first time going Up since his Fall. The demon was pouting at having to go Up as he didn’t want to be here at all.

“Angel, I still don’t see why you’re so Hell-… Heav-… _Something_-bent on doing this. They’re not going to support this, so I fail to see the point,” Crowley whined. 

Aziraphale rolled his eyes and huffed, “I told you, my dear. I wish to extend the olive branch, as it were. If we take the initiative to announce our intended nuptials to them before they find out some other way, then they’ll have more time to get over it rather than showing up to the wedding unannounced.”

“You just want to rub our relationship in Gabriel’s smug face,” snarked the demon. Aziraphale didn’t say anything but he didn’t bother to hide the little smirk. His love may have a point. Maybe.

When they reached the top, they walked over to a small white reception desk that had a quite young angel with long blonde ringlets writing down notes behind it. Nearby was a row of very uncomfortable-looking stiff metal seats in rows that were completely empty. Everything in Heaven was so darn bright and this area was no exception. Aziraphale could tell that Crowley had made his sunglasses even darker so there was no hint at the yellow eyes beneath. He could also tell that his demon was becoming more nervous with each step they took. The angel knew that nothing would happen to Crowley- not after seeing Michael’s face with the holy water incident Downstairs. But he took the demon’s hand and interlinked their fingers in a show of solidarity. The angel behind the desk looked up at Aziraphale and smiled briefly before turning their gaze on Crowley and the smile dropped immediately. “Uhm… may I… help… you?”

“Why, yes,” responded Aziraphale politely, “I would like to request an audience with the Archangels Gabriel, Michael, and Uriel, please. Tell them Aziraphale is here.” The angel receptionist’s eyes nearly bugged out of their head. Obviously Aziraphale’s name was rather popular around Heaven these days.

“Y-yes, sirs. Right away.”

It took little time at all before the Archangels, and Sandalphon, were behind them with a faint _pop_. Aziraphale and Crowley turned around, breaking contact but still standing closely together. Crowley’s hands went into his very tight jeans trying to act nonchalant; yet Aziraphale could tell that it was only a bluff as his shoulders were still tight and he refused to look at the angels. The angels didn’t look any less stiff, but what else was new?

“Aziraphale...” Gabriel gave a stiff nod before turning to Crowley, “_Demon_…”

Aziraphale just held himself back from doing an eyeroll. It was a very near thing. He tried his best to be relaxed as he gave his most charming smile with a “How do you do, Gabriel? Michael. Uriel. Sandalphon” and a nod to each angel in turn. So far, so good. No one immediately started attacking each other. Aziraphale knew that it was only Crowley’s respect for him that kept the demon from tossing himself at Gabriel after the “Just shut your stupid mouth and die already” comment. Yet the demon wasn’t about to let Aziraphale make this trip to Heaven by himself.

“What are you doing here, Aziraphale? We figured after your success at thwarting the Apocalypse you would be done with us and Heaven,” said Gabriel.

Aziraphale could just barely hear a “_That’s what I thought too_” from the demon beside him, but chose to ignore it. “It just so happens,” responded Aziraphale, “that Crowley here and I are planning to get married. As a show of good faith, I thought it would be nice to invite you all to our wedding.”

All of Heaven suddenly went so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. All of the angels, including the receptionist, simply stared at them with their mouths open. Okay, so this was a little more fun than Aziraphale would let on. It seemed that Gabriel was finally struck dumb for once. For several long moments Aziraphale just let them process what he had said while he looked around the bright room. 

“You… _what_?” finally piped up Uriel.

This finally seemed to snap Michael out of it as well. “Excuse me?”

This seemed to finally break Gabriel out of his shock and his mouth formed a straight line that Aziraphale knew meant the Archangel was holding back an outburst. Gabriel closed his eyes briefly and took in a deep breath before let it out again slowly. “And why would you think Heaven would support a union between you and this… this _filth_”- here he practically spat the word in Crowley’s direction. If it were possible, and it would have done any good, Gabriel’s eyes would have spat fire at the demon. “Marriage is a sacred union in front of God and you dare to make a mockery of Her intent by bonding yourself to _him_?”

Crowley’s hands were suddenly clenched in fists at his sides and he was glaring right back at Gabriel’s face. Thinking better of starting a fight right there in Heaven, he turned around to head back for the escalator toward Earth. “Come on, Aziraphale. I told you that this would be a waste of time.”

Aziraphale would not let this slide, though. He grabbed Crowley’s arm before he was able to take a full step and turned his own glare onto Gabriel and the other angels. Everyone took a step back except for Gabriel, and the receptionist suddenly had the holy desire to get back to work and not look at what was happening. Aziraphale tangled his fingers with Crowley’s and spoke right in Gabriel’s face. His voice was solid and stronger than he’d ever felt it before because all of his love for this demon was fueling his anger. “Now see here, Gabriel,” he began, “I came here with good intentions to share with you and the rest of Heaven how much love I have for this wonderful creature beside me. We are supposed to be beings of Light, Hope, and Love, are we not? Beings that represent the Almighty’s love for Creation. I’ll have you know that Crowley here is more deserving of that love than you could ever comprehend.” Aziraphale could feel himself starting to shake, but he didn’t care as he held onto Crowley’s hand even tighter. “Crowley worked to stop Armageddon because of his love for that Creation, including the humans. He’s been down there for just as long as I have and he’s shown compassion and understanding while also doing his job for Hell. Who do you think showed Her son the world, allowing Jesus to see the human civilizations he was destined to save? None of you lot! 

“Yes, he’s a demon. But I’m not perfect either, and neither are any of you! Taking pride in your work to punish humans. How are you, or I, any different than Crowley and the demons? Because you’re here and they’re Down There? Rubbish. This demand for a war between Heaven and Hell was silly from the very beginning, and my love for Crowley, and his love for me, shows that it is possible for angels and demons to get along if any of you were willing to get the sticks out of your arses! I came to you with love and good faith and you take this moment to insult the most wonderful being that has ever tried to actually get to know me. The only immortal being who didn’t make me feel like something rotten on the bottom of their shoe and took interests in the things I love about God’s Creations. I guess he’s right and I did expect too much from you, Gabriel. Have a good eternity.”

Heavily breathing and lip trembling just slightly, Aziraphale turned to walk alongside Crowley back to Earth. Yet before they could make it, a bright holy light descended between them and the escalators. After the bright flash faded, the gigantic head of the Metatron appeared. Aziraphale and Crowley stopped in their tracks and Aziraphale felt a heavy weight in his gut. This was it. By openly declaring his love for a demon he was finally going to be cast out of Heaven. But it didn’t matter. He tilted his chin up in defiance and gripped Crowley’s hand tighter. If he was going to Fall, at least he had Crowley by his side. Yet the Metatron wasn’t looking at them. Rather, he was looking at the Archangels behind Aziraphale.

“GABRIEL,” the Speaker of God roared, “THE ALMIGHTY HAS A NEW ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU AND THE ARCHANGELS.” Aziraphale turned from the Metatron to Gabriel and he could see that shock was back in those violet-colored eyes.

“Wha- what is it the Almighty wishes of us?” he asked nervously.

“YOU ARE TO DESCEND TO EARTH AND ASSIST THIS ANGEL AND DEMON WITH PLANNING THEIR UNION CELEBRATION.”

It was Aziraphale and Crowley’s turn to be in shock as they simply looked at each other dumbfounded before looking between the Metatron and Gabriel. The eyes of the angels behind Gabriel were flitting between the Metatron, Gabriel, and Aziraphale and Crowley as if they had no idea where to settle. Aziraphale couldn’t blame them. His own face probably mirrored the shock on theirs. Crowley’s certainly did.

Gabriel finally spoke, “Surely this must be some sort of a joke. You can’t possibly be saying that this… union…” he raised one hand to point at Aziraphale and Crowley, “between an angel and a demon is _allowed_?” The look on Gabriel’s face was a mix of frantic and yet disdainful. “She couldn’t possibly approve of Her principality joining his life to that?!”

“_DO YOU DARE TO QUESTION THE ALMIGHTY, GABRIEL?!_” roared the Metatron. Every angel and the one demon took a step back and Aziraphale was sure that if the angels had the means to, at least Sandalphon would have soiled himself. As it was, his own heart starting racing frantically. If what he was hearing from the Metatron were true, then their relationship was really part of Her Ineffable Plan. He felt giddy all of a sudden and turned to smile brightly at his love. “YOU AND THE ARCHANGELS ARE TO JOIN AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ON EARTH. DURING THIS TIME YOUR TASK IS TO LEARN FROM THEM ABOUT THE WAYS OF HUMANS SO THAT YOU MAY BETTER UNDERSTAND HOW TO CARRY OUT THE ALMIGHTY’S WILL ON EARTH. MAY THIS BE A TEST OF YOUR COMPASSION FOR HER CREATIONS.”

Then just as suddenly as he appeared, the Metatron left with a resounding _crack!_ and the room was silent again. Aziraphale glanced from Crowley to the angels with his mouth slightly ajar. Gabriel and Michael looked as if they were going to be sick. Sandalphon still looked as if he could wet himself. And Uriel was still glancing between everyone, still unsure of where they should look. Aziraphale closed his mouth and dragged Crowley over to the reception desk. “Is there anything we need to sign?” he asked the terrified receptionist.

There were suddenly new forms in front of the receptionist that they didn’t realize until Aziraphale’s voice broke them from their haze. “Uh… oh yes. Here.” Aziraphale took the form and looked through it. Sure enough, there was the Metatron’s declaration in black and white.

“It is declared that the Archangels Gabriel, Uriel, Sandalphon, and Michael are hereby assigned to Earth for 6 months to assist in planning the wedding between the principality Aziraphale and the demon known as Crowley. 

During this time, Gabriel, Uriel, Sandalphon, and Michael will study the customs of humans under the teachings of Aziraphale and Crowley and report their findings to Heaven every seven (7) days. They will also bear witness to the wedding and ensure that the event is pleasing for God and the wedded couple. Failure to participate in any of these activities will mean the suspension of angelic duties to live on Earth for the next six (6) centuries or a demotion in Heaven’s ranks. 

This document is to authorize the agreement of these terms between the Archangels listed above and the principality Aziraphale.” 

Under that was the signature lines for Aziraphale, Gabriel, Uriel, Sandalphon, and Michael in acceptance of their duties and even a line for Crowley as witness. Aziraphale handed the document over to Gabriel, who read it with a look of pure disdain. He looked like he was ready to set the whole thing on fire but refrained due to the very clear threat outlined within it. So he reluctantly miracled up a pen and signed the symbol for his name in the spot left for him. He stepped back from the desk and Sandalphon was next, followed by Uriel and finally Michael. All of them looked like they’d rather be anywhere else and the very idea that Aziraphale and Crowley were going to be their new teachers for the next 6 months was the lowest they could be subjected to without Falling. Aziraphale held back a grin as he watched them all sign the form before he proceeded to sign his own name. At last Crowley sauntered up and pulled out a flame to leave his own signature. Aziraphale gave the document back to the receptionist and smiled at the Archangels before holding his arm out for Crowley to take.

“Well, then. Shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating for this fic is going to go up next chapter.


	5. Under Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley can't keep his hands off of Aziraphale. Aziraphale doesn't mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE pay attention to the tags here. Mentions of past drug use (it was the 80s). This chapter is mostly smut and then talking about past sex experiences. If you want to skip it, it won't ruin the story. Not really proper sex talk beforehand in the heat of the moment, but it is 100% consensual and discussed after.

#  Chapter 5: Under Pressure 

Crowley had never been so turned on in his entire existence. Sure, there were times after he had watched Aziraphale consume some confection (like crepes) that he got a little hot and bothered under the collar and had to take a while to go hide it, but those times paled in comparison to this. Watching Aziraphale stare down Gabriel had been the hottest thing he’d ever seen and now that they were together-together, he no longer had to hide his lust from the angel. Being around Gabriel and the others had tampered it for a while, but now that they were alone it took all of Crowley’s willpower to wait until they were back at the bookshop before ripping off his clothes and begging “take me” at Aziraphale’s feet.

As it was, they were currently making their way back to the bookshop in Soho after having dropped off the Archangels at a nearby hotel. Aziraphale had checked them in and Crowley reluctantly taught them how to use the telly. Sandalphon’s eyes had gone wide as he fiddled with the remote to change the channels. Aziraphale had miracled up some of his books from the shop that he wouldn’t mind parting with- particularly Sci-Fi/Fantasy and Romance pieces that Adam had left there after he had restored the world. Gabriel, of course, and tucked himself into a corner and was refusing to acknowledge anyone as he stared out the window with disdain. 

Crowley was speeding like a bat out of Hell and practically vibrating with how much he wanted to reach over and grab Aziraphale. Luckily it was the middle of the day in February and London wasn’t that crowded. The angel had to have known how Crowley was feeling, if the hand resting on his thigh was any indication. It certainly wasn’t helping Crowley’s current predicament and his jeans were feeling even tighter than usual. When he finally found a spot to park in front of the bookshop, he practically pulled Aziraphale out of the Bentley before pushing him roughly against the door immediately once they got inside. Before the angel could get a word out, Crowley’s hands were in his blonde curls and the demon’s mouth was on his. He felt the angel open his mouth eagerly under Crowley’s onslaught and then their tongues were entwined. 

Eventually, Aziraphale put his hands on Crowley’s chest and pushed him away slightly. Crowley put one of his hands on the door behind Aziraphale’s head and looked down at his angel. The blue eyes were dilated and there was a blush high on his cheeks. “My dear, what’s all this about?”

Crowley groaned and rested his head against Aziraphale’s and smiled in reassurance before pecking him on the lips and making his way along the angel’s jaw, down his neck, and back up to his earlobe. “You…” _kiss_ “…have no…” _kiss_ “… _idea_ how…” _kiss_ “… sexy you were…” _kiss_ “… yelling at Gabriel…” _kiss_ “…like that…” Each kiss made Aziraphale lean further into the door and his head tilted back into the palm that was still in his hair, giving Crowley more space to work. Aziraphale’s hands curled into Crowley’s jacket and his breathing picked up.

Then suddenly Crowley was the one with his back against the wall as the angel took charge and grabbed Crowley by the hair to pull him down into a kiss. Crowley whimpered as Aziraphale pulled back and said in a deep voice, “Is that so, my dear?” It wasn’t really a question, but Crowley could do nothing but nod slack-jawed at the twinkle of mischief he found in those blue depths. A smirk came over Aziraphale’s lips as he took Crowley’s sunglasses off and tossed them aside. Crowley didn’t care where they ended up as long as his angel was looking at him like _that_. Then he was suddenly reminded of the fact that Aziraphale was a soldier as the angel grabbed his thighs and picked Crowley up, holding him against the wall. Crowley wrapped his arms around the Principality’s neck and wrapped his legs around his back. All he could do now was hold on for the ride- and he _loved_ it. 

Their tongues met again briefly before Aziraphale was sucking on Crowley’s Adam’s apple. He couldn’t hold back the moan as he tilted his head back. His skin felt like it was on fire. He knew his angel could be assertive, as their previous arguments and the display Upstairs indicated, but having Aziraphale take charge of him was something else.

“Angel… ‘Zira… please…” He didn’t know what exactly he was begging for, but he knew he needed more. 

Aziraphale did not disappoint as suddenly there was a very thick Effort pressed up against his crotch, and- _oh dear God!_\- that was hot. Aziraphale groaned into his neck and continued sucking as he started to grind his cock into Crowley’s own. He cursed his very tight jeans and snapped his fingers to miracle his and Aziraphale’s outer clothes away. They were left in nothing but their pants and Aziraphale chuckled but didn’t stop his movements or the licking and sucking against Crowley’s neck. With fewer layers between them, Crowley could feel the slight wetness coming from both of their Efforts. The friction was delicious and Crowley was starting to feel lightheaded. “’Zira… I need…”

The next thing he knew, Crowley was straddling the angel’s lap on the sofa of the bookshop’s backroom. The angel in question was wearing a very cheeky grin that made Crowley chuckle before descending on his lips. Tiny tingles wracked through his back and out to his arms as Aziraphale’s fingers scraped down before finally grabbing onto his arse. He pulled Crowley’s pelvis down and the demon took the obvious hint as he started grinding onto the angel’s lap, picking up the rhythm they’d had before. Crowley couldn’t help but grab onto Aziraphale’s shoulders for leverage and tip his head back as Aziraphale guided his thrusts. “Oh, my darling,” gasped the angel, “That’s it. You’re so beautiful. So radiant.” The pure power of Aziraphale’s strength as he guided Crowley’s hips, combined with the praises he wasn’t expecting, made Crowley feel safe and able to finally let go of control. Everything he needed was right here beneath him, controlling his movements.

Suddenly he felt a flash of pain and an electric zing that traveled straight from his left nipple to his cock. His head jerked back down in shock to find that twinkle of mischief back in Aziraphale’s eyes. “Yesssss….” Crowley hissed, “Again… please…” He was so very close now. Aziraphale lightly bit down on the nipple again and followed it up with alternating between gentle licks and sucks. The tingles down his body increased and his rhythm was starting to falter as he came closer and closer to his end. If the panting from the angel beneath him and the wetness he could feel soaking through their pants were any indication, Aziraphale wasn’t far off either. Crowley couldn’t hold back the needy whine as he saw the mixture of pure delight, love, and lust on Aziraphale’s face- all of which were directed at him.

“It’s alright, darling,” Aziraphale groaned out as he set his forehead against Crowley’s chest. “I’m right there, too. Let go, love. I’ve got you.”

That was all it took as the cord holding Crowley’s climax back finally snapped. His vision went blank and his heart stopped. He could have been screaming, but he wasn’t sure. He felt higher than any drug, manmade or otherwise, had made him feel in the millennia he’d spent on Earth. In his mind he could see all of the stars that he helped Her create bursting before his eyes. If he didn’t know better, he could have sworn he was touched by Her grace as his orgasm continued to rip through him. But as he returned to his corporeal form, he knew that it was only because he was experiencing this with his angel. No mortal had ever made him feel like that. 

When he finally came to, he was quick to realize that his face was buried in angelic-blonde curls covered in sweat. They lifted their heads at the same time and Aziraphale left a light kiss to the underside of his jaw before their eyes met once again. A hand reached up to cup his jaw and the thumb swiped at Crowley’s cheek. The demon was surprised when it came back slightly wet. Apparently he’d cried a little when he came. “Alright, love?” the angel whispered, as if afraid of breaking this fragile moment.

The demon smiled in reassurance and realized that he still felt just as safe as before, but now he could feel immense warmth all through his body. He felt more relaxed than he had been in ages. “Never better, Angel.”

“Was I too rough?” asked the angel with a slight worry in his tone. “You said that you found my assertiveness sexy, so I thought…”

Crowley shut up the angel’s rambling with a soft peck before looking at Aziraphale earnestly. “It was perfect, Angel. Absolutely tickety-boo.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” the angel asked with a chuckle.

“Nope!” replied Crowley, popping the _p_.

“Well, that was certainly something,” commented Aziraphale, “I didn’t think you’d suddenly assault me when we entered the bookshop.”

“You loved it,” Crowley remarked.

“Hmm… that I did.” Aziraphale then scooted so he could rest comfortably against the sofa and Crowley moved his legs to one side so he could stretch out across his lap and tuck his head against the angel’s shoulder. With another small miracle they were both clean again but this time in soft pajamas (tartan in Aziraphale’s case). Their previous attire was folded up nice and clean on Aziraphale’s armchair. Aziraphale’s arms came around to envelope him further in warmth. Then those hands were drawing shapes and lines down his back and he could practically feel his body turning to goo. “So, uhm…” the Principality began, “Is this something that you like, then? Me taking charge, as it were?”

Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s middle as he further settled in. “Mhmm…” Crowley was very quickly feeling tired and knew he could easily fall asleep right here on Aziraphale’s lap. But he knew the angel would want more of an explanation than that. He yawned and spoke, “I’ve been in the dominant and submissive roles and I’ve enjoyed both. But usually I like to be on the receiving end unless the temptation calls for it.” Here he blushed and turned his head further into Aziraphale’s neck to hide it, “As long as it’s with you I don’t care which.” The angel’s arms pulled tighter around him and he’d never felt so cherished. 

“You just like to be pampered,” Aziraphale stated fondly. Well, the serpent couldn’t really argue with that. He wasn’t about to voice it though.

“What about you, Angel? Is this something you’re comfortable with? I’m sorry we didn’t talk about this first. I hoped you would stop me if you didn’t want it. You did want this, right?” Now Crowley was suddenly nervous. Was Aziraphale going to regret this? He hoped he didn’t fuck this up.

Aziraphale must have noticed his concern as he then put his finger and thumb against Crowley’s chin to tilt his face up. “Look at me, love,” he replied softly. Crowley did and was comforted to find Aziraphale smiling at him with a look of pure love. He was practically glowing. “I’ve wanted us to get here for a long time, my dear. I didn’t think you’d want to do anything too physical since you’ve done it for so long with tempting humans to sin. Mixing work and pleasure, as the humans say.”

Crowley bent forward to kiss Aziraphale before resting his head back down on his shoulder. “Well, it wasn’t always _work_, Angel. There were some humans who made it worthwhile.”

“Such as that Freddie fellow?” Crowley thought he might have heard more than just curiosity in Aziraphale’s tone but didn’t comment on it.

“Mercury, yeah. Wasn’t more than a few times, but he was one that I was glad to submit to. Very bossy, that human. Had a right fun time with him and David Bowie while they were recording _Under Pressure_ in Switzerland.” He smiled wistfully at the memory of celebration those two got into while powered on wine and cocaine. “They went out for drinks and more afterwards and I met up with them at the club. They were so out of it I don’t know if they remembered everything we did that evening.” Aziraphale chuckled with him. He was sure that Aziraphale had never bothered to try hard recreational drugs, but there had to have been some mortals that caught his interest through the years. “What about you and Wilde? I heard plenty of rumors about the two of you and a certain gentleman’s club. You can’t tell me nothing happened there.”

“Yes. Well, uhm… that is… we did get together a few times.” Aziraphale’s voice was so soft and adorably shy.

“Oh, come on, Angel! Give me more than that. Did you shag him, or did he shag you?” He sat up again to look at Aziraphale, who promptly looked away with a blush now traveling to his ears and neck. He moved his finger up to trace Aziraphale’s jawline. “Come now… you don’t have to be embarrassed. He was a good-looking chap.”

“We… uhm… switched, I guess is the proper term. But he had so many suitors at the soirees he frequented that it didn’t occur all that often between us.”  
Crowley hummed in acknowledgement, “Too bad I wasn’t around during that time. We could have both had a bit of fun with him.”

Aziraphale zipped his head back towards him, “_Crowley!_”

Crowley tilted his head back and laughed before cuddling back down, “Relax, Angel. I’m only teasing.” But he continued to chuckle lightly until he felt a swat on his left butt cheek. His breath hitched and he let out a soft “_Oh!_” before wiggling a bit. Now that was interesting… “Oi! Don’t be starting something you don’t intend to finish.”

Aziraphale giggled and followed up with a thoughtful hum, “Maybe something to explore later, dearest. After we’ve talked about it some more.”

“Agreed. Too tired right now. Imma fall asleep right here. We’ll figure out what to do with your family members later.” And he shut his eyes as he felt a hand begin to card through his hair. Aziraphale moved a little underneath him, probably to grab a book and settle in, before Crowley felt himself finally drifting off. Yes, he was perfectly safe here. He didn’t need anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't know, the bit about how "Under Pressure" was recorded is true. Queen once said that the day was fueled by wine and cocaine to get through it and then they "had drinks and stuff" afterwards. No one can convince me that Freddie and Bowie didn't "do it" that night. Also, Under Pressure is my favorite song of all time, so I loved putting something about it in this fic.
> 
> This chapter kinda came out of nowhere as I wasn't planning on writing smut at all. But Crowley wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. Sorry it's a little late. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to writing smut.


	6. Questioning Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Archangel introspection regarding their new assignment.

# Chapter 6: Questioning Faith 

It was raining heavily outside of the hotel window in London. It was the cold kind of winter rain that indicated it was too warm to properly snow. So the pavement was covered in mush of the previous snow and the new rain. It was all so _dirty_ and that suited Gabriel’s mood just fine. He was still sitting in the corner watching humanity and thinking about his new assignment. Just how exactly had he found himself in this predicament? It was horrible enough that he’d had to tell a Heaven full of angels months ago that they were not going to fight in a Holy War anytime soon. All thanks to a certain Principality and his demon… _partner_. Just the thought of the word put a nasty taste in his mouth. Now he was stuck here on Earth with said Principality and demon being his bosses to learn amongst the humans. 

What could he, the Archangel Fucking Gabriel, possibly have to learn from humans? Humans with their greed, lust, possessiveness, gluttony, and fickle _emotions_. Their such short lifespans that made their lives so insignificant. Yet She loved them so much and it was something he’d never understood. How could She love those creatures that could so easily defy Her? So many of them didn’t even believe in Her existence! Yet he knew where these questions would bring him. Ruin. Damnation. A one-way ticket to the pits of Hell just like Lucifer and his gang of angels had done. They had asked too many questions of Her. They had wondered about Her love for humanity and even though Gabriel had agreed with some of their points, he knew better than to voice them. Now here he was, just a stone-throw away from a demotion if he failed this assignment. Even though the contract and the Metatron hadn’t explicitly stated it, Gabriel knew that if he still failed Her after a demotion he could easily find himself in the sulfur depths. He mentally shuddered. No, he wouldn’t end up like that. 

Yet there was an angel who had willingly risked Falling and came out unscathed. Even Hellfire couldn’t touch him and Gabriel still couldn’t understand how that had happened. He’d spent the past number of Earth’s months trying not to think about it- getting lost in assigning miracles to his subordinates. Now that he didn’t have his office and assignments to occupy his mind, he couldn’t help but think back to Aziraphale’s little feat. How had he done it? If he was no longer an angel, he surely would have Fallen from Her grace when he failed to die. Yet he’d maintained his rank and Gabriel had no idea how he’d managed it. Michael had told him that the holy water hadn’t killed the demon either. How was that possible? He obviously hadn’t earned his spot back in Heaven again, so what did that make him? What was Her plan for all of this? Why was She supporting their union in matrimony? Was Aziraphale right? Were demons really not that different from angels after all? 

The adorable face of a certain demon crossed his mind and his breath caught in his chest. Zzzzzzir cute little frown and the way zzzzzzir eyebrows furrowed when zzzzzze were annoyed at the Antichrist. The black messy locks and fluffy fly on top… No. He wouldn’t let his thoughts go there. He pushed zzzzzzir face from his mind’s eye. 

He quietly watched the humans walking among the shops. How little they knew about Her and the celestial beings that watched over them. Going about their meaningless lives. Oh how things had changed in the past 2000 years since he’d last been assigned to Earth. Since the Fall of Lucifer, Gabriel had been the Almighty’s favorite. The one that She’d trusted to tell Mary that she was pregnant with God’s child. The one that She’d trusted with such an important assignment. He’d watched over the human woman through her pregnancy. He’d been the one to plant the star that led the three wise men to Bethlehem. He had grown attached to that young woman and the boy. Jesus had been so kind and loving, just like his human mother and the Almighty. He had understood quickly why Mary had been chosen by God Herself to carry this half-human child into the world. For a short while Gabriel had had hope in God’s creatures. He had stood near when Mary gave birth and watched in awe as this tiny creature appeared on Her Earth. Mary had let him hold the tiny messiah and love he had never known since Her engulfed him. Then he’d watched the young carpenter grow up from afar and he thought the boy had been safe. He’d gone back to his assignments in Heaven, only to find out years later that Jesus was killed by his fellow humans. 

Why had She allowed this to happen? He knew that it had broken Her to watch the humans kill Her son. Why put Herself through such pain? At that point he’d seen the true hearts of humanity. Their pride and vanity. Their worship of false deities. God had sent a flood to wash away the nonbelievers before. She had sent Sandalphon to smite Sodom and Gamorrah . Well, technically Gabriel had been the one to send him on that assignement, but still. It was at Her behest. So why would she now tolerate such insubordination from her Creations? It just didn’t make sense. So the Holy War was off, the Antichrist was growing up as a normal human boy, the very angel and demon responsible were getting married with Her approval, and Gabriel and his fellow Archangels were assigned to watch over it all and learn from it. It didn’t make any sense and he didn’t like it. Yet what could he do? He just had to continue to have faith in Her, right? For now he was stuck in this human hotel until Aziraphale came back for them.

****************************

On the other side of the hotel room, two Archangels were flipping through television channels trying to figure out what they should watch. Crowley had been kind enough to teach Uriel and Sandalphon how to use this strange device and explained that humans used it to entertain themselves and keep away boredom. Uriel didn’t quite understand, but as they sat next to Sandalphon in the comfortable armchairs they could acknowledge that it was entertaining. The wild things that humans would think of to make their stories into moving pictures. There were colorful depictions of animals talking to each other- _click!_\- a human woman running away from strange robotic creatures yelling “Exterminate!” -_click!_\- two human men holding swords towards each other, ready to fight- _click!_ “Awh! That one looked interesting!” came the disappointed voice of Sandalphon. Uriel ignored him and continued changing the channel. 

Then something caught the Archangel’s attention. On the screen were multiple humans in white attire working hard around a kitchen. Fires were high and the camera was flipping between each of the humans as they worked. It was chaotic and yet all of the humans worked together as a team. Flashes showed beautiful renditions of human food placed carefully on pristine white plates. Uriel watched, enraptured, as these plates were passed between the humans, each adding a piece to create their team’s masterpiece. Uriel had never tried food before and never understood the appeal. But this looked like _art_. The colors of the various vegetables all mixed together with spices and placed near the roasted flesh of animals.

Then there was a human man with blonde hair shouting orders to each of these chefs to the chorus of “Yes, Chef!” He was obviously the man in charge and the piece at the bottom of the screen read “Gordon Ramsey.” He flitted from station to station, giving commands. He was certainly intimidating, but Uriel found him utterly fascinating. Such power and command he had over the room! It was like watching a Principality give orders to their platoon, preparing for the Armageddon that didn’t happen. Whenever one of the workers did something wrong, Ramsey would yell and give off an insult- obviously expecting nothing but absolute perfection. 

It got Uriel to wonder just what all of this was for. What satisfaction did these humans gain from working themselves like this? What made food prepared like this any better than the minimum needed to survive? Surely it couldn’t be that comfortable to consume sustenance? Yet Uriel knew that Aziraphale and Crowley partook in it quite often. Gabriel had once come back to Heaven complaining about the Principality and something called “sushi.” They had no idea what that was but decided to ask Aziraphale about it when they next saw him. Uriel looked over to Gabriel still sitting at the window watching the pouring rain. They knew that disturbing him would most likely bring out his wrath. He’d get into such a touchy mood when he rank was questioned. Any time a lower-ranking angel asked questions in the past, Uriel would have to direct them back to their duties and let Gabriel cool off. 

Gabriel’s attitude wasn’t nearly as harsh as Michael, however. Where Gabriel would let his anger be known outright, Michael became cold and calculating. She used her connections to bring an angel down in such a way that others wondered if that angel had ever really existed at all. An angel who stepped out of line around Michael would simply never be seen again. Uriel had only ever seen someone cross Michael once, and that was Lucifer himself. Once Michael and Lucifer had stood side-by-side and when the War of Heaven came, it was Michael and Lucifer who clashed swords until God had had enough and cast out the Fallen. Uriel knew that Michael had certain connections to Hell and exploited them, but they had never looked far into it to question her motives. Michael was the most stoic out of all of them and Uriel could only guess how she was feeling about this assignment. But right now they didn’t want to disturb the peace. So they went back to watching the humans on the television.

****************************

Internally, Michael was trying to hold back the angel equivalent of a panic attack. What had she done wrong to deserve this? She had been the one to expose the treacherous Principality and demon to the respective authorities. She had been the only angel who had the guts to see to the demon’s execution by bringing the holy water to Hell. None of the other angels had the nerve to go to Hell, seeing it as too disgusting to bother with. Michael didn’t like taking the trip, either, but she at least was willing to do what she had to in order to see that things got _done_. Except it didn’t, did it? Somehow the demon had survived the holy water and Aziraphale had survived the Hellfire. That had be quite the embarrassment, reporting to Gabriel after giving the demon a towel. Since then she had tried to push the whole incident behind her and move on, hoping to never hear from the Principality and his demon sidekick again.

That didn’t last long. Seeing Aziraphale bring Crowley to Heaven and declaring that they were going to get married was one thing. That would be easy enough to ignore after the initial shock (and Gabriel’s temper had died down). But, no. Now she was roped up into this mess and she just couldn’t understand _why_. Why would an angel willingly spend time with a demon? Romantic love was just so human. Why bother with such things if you had no reason to procreate? Well, there had been some angels that had procreated with human women during the centuries, but Michael didn’t want to think about that. 

But more than that, she didn’t understand why she had to be involved with planning this whole thing. Was this a punishment? She had no idea what went into the process of planning a wedding. This was way out of her jurisdiction. Just what exactly was God expecting her to do with this assignment? They had watch over the planning and the wedding to make sure it all went according to plan and that the couple remained happy. What satisfaction did God get from watching one of her faithful bond himself to a demon? 

Michael did have to acknowledge that if she had to pick a demon, Crowley at least wasn’t bad to look at. He obviously took special care to groom himself and he didn’t have any animals, bugs, or sores anywhere on his form. Some of the demons she’d seen on her trip to Hell were quite disgusting. Hell wasn’t any better, either. Michael had made certain to not touch any of the walls or décor if she could help it. It had been a far cry from Heaven’s cleanliness. Why was this demon so different from the others? It must have been all of the time he’d spent on Earth. Yet she still didn’t trust him. Was this all some sort of plot to get into Heaven’s good graces? Surely he didn’t think that bonding himself to an angel would bring him to his former status? Yet the Almighty trusted this demon with Her Principality. For some reason, She approved of their romantic bond. That had to be enough for now, Michael supposed. But she’d be watching Crowley very carefully. 

God wanted them to learn about the humans? Then Michael would learn. She’d never messed up an assignment before and she wasn’t about to now. She looked over at Gabriel sulking in the window. It would be no use to talk to him at this point, but his attitude wouldn’t last forever. He had too much pride to let this ordeal bring him down. Yet she couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her companion. He stressed himself almost constantly to be the best among them. Michael had been looking forward to the Great War, but not nearly as much as Gabriel. After her battle with Lucifer that resulted in his fall, Michael knew that she didn’t need to prove anything to anyone. She had respect and the channels to maintain it. Or at least she thought she did. Now here she was in a human hotel room, waiting to find out what was expected of them all. She had no desire to join Uriel and Sandalphon to watch television, but she knew she needed to do something to occupy her time. So she settled herself more comfortably on the bed and picked up one of the books Aziraphale had left behind. There must be a reason the Principality coveted these human stories. She looked at each of the titles until she found one that looked like it had the potential to be interesting. Something to do with a prince and a place called Amber. She settled back against the pillows and headboard and opened the book to the first page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book that Michael starts reading is from my favorite book series. Anyone know what it is?


	7. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A car ride with the in-laws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. My mental health has been rather poor these past couple of weeks. I hope you enjoy!

# Chapter 7: Road Trip 

“No.”

“But, dear…”

“Absolutely not, Angel.”

“Crowley, please be reasonable.”

“I am _reasonably_ sure that those angels are not getting into my Bentley for that long of a drive!”

“Oh, it’s not like they’re going to do any damage to it, dearest! You let the kids ride around with you all the time even after they’ve had ice cream!”

“That’s different, babe! Those kids don’t get on my last nerve. They’re easy to entertain. Just what am I supposed to do with a car full of bloody _Archangels_ on a drive for over an hour?”

A long, suffering sigh came from the Principality, “Just what do you suggest, then? Miracle up another bus to get us all the way out to Tadfield? Besides, we’d have no transportation once we got there and I think humans would notice a whole group of winged beings flying between London and Tadfield.”

“Aaaarrrrrgh!” Aziraphale knew that he had won as Crowley looked up to the sky. “Maybe we could just rent a car?” the demon finally suggested.

Aziraphale _tsked_. “Oh really, dear. I fail to see why we would need to do that when you have a perfectly functioning car. Those four aren’t going to hurt your baby, love. Now stop whining and let’s go! I want to have plenty of time with the children before they will need to be home for supper.”

“Ugh, fine! But you owe me more _fun times_ later, angel.”

The Principality could feel a flush spread across his cheeks all the way to his hairline. He turned away and hoped that the Archangels had no idea what Crowley was referring to. “A-alright, dear. Whatever you say.” Crowley grinned. He may have to put up with the in-laws for a long drive to Tadfield and back, but at least he now had something to look forward to when they returned. 

Currently they were in front of the bookshop after having just picked up the Archangels from the hotel nearby. They were all about to go and see the Them, Anathema, and Newt to tell them about the upcoming wedding. At first Crowley had thought it would just be him and Aziraphale going just like they did every other weekend or so. But Aziraphale had pointed out to the love of his life that if they were going to teach the Archangels about human society, what better way than to properly introduce them to the child who had saved it all from destruction? Said Archangels were standing on the slushy kerb looking confusedly between the angel and demon as they were having their little domestic about just how they were all going to get to Tadfield.

Crowley snapped his fingers and the back of the Bentley extended, allowing more seats for the Archangels, before growling, “Alright, you lot. Get in, get in,” and gesturing for them to get inside. Uriel and Michael climbed in first and got into the far back, followed by Sandalphon and Gabriel making up the middle compartment. Crowley rolled his eyes and got into the driver’s seat as Aziraphale got in with a smug look on his face. “Oh, shut it.”

As they got on the M25 to head out of the city, Aziraphale looked over his shoulder to speak to the Archangels. Apparently Crowley had no intentions to speak to them along the way. He couldn’t really blame him. What would he even say? Crowley hated making small talk with the average human at the best of times. So now Aziraphale would have to be the braver one of them as he turned to his kin and said, “So, what did you all get up to while at the hotel? I’m so sorry about that, by the way. We’ll find more reasonable accommodations once we return from Tadfield. I’m not exactly sure what the Almighty intends for me to do with you lot. Michael, I see that you grabbed a book from the pile that I left you. What is it?”

Michael looked up from the book she was reading in the back and held it up to show the cover. On it was a man on a horse facing a mountain in the landscape. On the mountain’s face was a large city and a crescent moon hung behind the mountain. The title was “NINE PRINCES IN AMBER” by Roger Zelazny. Aziraphale had never really been much into the Sci-Fi/Fantasy genre. However, he did know that this author had been very popular in the 1970s and 80s and his books had been very influential to many Fantasy authors that came after him. So Aziraphale had stocked up on some of the popular series at the time at the request of some of his regulars. Since the man’s death in the mid 1990s it had actually become quite difficult to get one’s hands on any copies. He still had no idea what the series was about, however. It must be good if the fact that Michael was already halfway through the book was any indication. So he asked Michael, “What is it about? I didn’t really think such a thing would be your style, my dear.”

Michael looked down with a soft smile before responding, “It’s quite interesting, actually. It’s about a man who wakes up in a hospital with amnesia and discovers that his large family is the royalty of this world called Amber. There’s magic, swordfights, and political infighting.”

Aziraphale looked over at Crowley, who was obviously trying to seem like he wasn’t paying attention. His love knew him better than that, though. “Sounds like something you might like, dearest. Maybe you should give it a try after Michael is done with the book,” here he leaned over into Crowley’s ear and whispered, “You might even find that you two have something in common.” The only answer the demon gave was a look of annoyance and indignation that he would ever have something in common with one of the Archangels. Aziraphale didn’t see how it could be outside of the realm of possibility, though. If he and Crowley had been able to discover plenty of things over the millennia that they found in common, why couldn’t Crowley find a common interest with Michael? Aziraphale decided to let the issue slide for now, however.

“That does seem quite intriguing. What is this Amber place?” Aziraphale asked.

“I’m not too sure, actually. I’ve only just gotten to the part where the main character Corwin and two of his siblings are getting close to Amber and have to run from one of their other brothers. They’re currently fighting their way down a staircase leading into the ocean. It’s a bit thrilling. These princes are able to shift reality. Kind of like performing miracles. I wonder how a human man was able to come up with such ideas.” 

“Probably drugs,” Crowley grumbled. Aziraphale tried hard to purse his lips so that his smile wouldn’t show. He doubted he was very successful, however.

“Well, Michael, do tell me if the rest of the book ends up being worth a read. If no one else here wishes to take an interest in it, maybe I’ll look to expanding my horizons with you.” He gave what he hoped was a comforting smile. He really did want to make the Archangels’ time on Earth as comfortable as possible. Whereas he’d been here on Earth from the Beginning and got to watch the humans grow, this had to have been quite the culture shock for the rest of the angels. Next he turned to Uriel and said, “What about you, dear? Did you find anything of interest in the pile of books I left?”

Uriel and Sandalphon looked at each other before Uriel responded, “Well, we were watching the television that Crowley showed us how to work. We came across this show about human chefs competing and a man named Gordon… what was it, Sandalphon?”

“Uh… uhm… I don’t quite recall. Very angry-looking fellow with blond hair?”

“Ramsey,” piped up Crowley, “You remember that guy, Aziraphale. We’ve been to his restaurants multiple times.”

“Oh, that’s right!” responded Aziraphale. He did remember that chef. The food at his restaurants was always so amazing. Gordon was such a nice fellow. “Why was he angry on television? That doesn’t seem like him.”

“It’s all an act, Angel,” said Crowley, “He yells at his chefs on television to inspire them to be better. The same way that I yell at my plants.”

“Yes, well I do wish you would stop doing that, you know. The plants you bring me that have ‘disappointed you’ always seem to believe that I have some ulterior motive in being nice to them.”

Crowley looked over at him and smiled broadly, “It’s what I do, Angel. Demon, remember?”

“Mhmm… such an evil creature you are my dear,” Aziraphale chuckled and leaned over to kiss Crowley on the cheek. It felt good to be able to do so in front of his colleagues without fearing repercussions. He gave a quick glance at Gabriel, who was obviously trying his own best to ignore everyone in the car. Aziraphale sighed internally. He had no idea how he would bridge that gap with his boss. He knew that this whole situation would be hardest on Gabriel, but he did hope that the Archangel would at least try to be involved. There had to be something he could do. But for now he would focus on the others.

Uriel cleared their throat and looked a little uncomfortable before finally asking, “Aziraphale? I was wondering… why is it that you and Crowley eat? Unlike the humans you have no need to sustain your corporeal being with food. Isn’t it a waste?”

Aziraphale noticed Gabriel turn his head at this and raise an eyebrow at him as if to say _‘See? I’m not the only angel to think your habits are odd.’ _ Aziraphale rolled his eyes at this and took a glance at Crowley before looking back at Uriel and responding, “Well, I suppose… I suppose simply because I like it. The combinations of flavors that humans have come up with are astounding. Humans do not eat just for sustenance, you know. Each culture has their own rituals pertaining to food and Crowley and I have found it quite interesting how each of these cultures have used food not only to bond within their family structures, but also how they’ve developed trade between such cultures. For example, Europe went to great lengths to develop spice trade routes to India and China. The food between cultures is so vastly different, just as their clothing styles and religious beliefs are. Like clothing, art, and literature, food can tell you a great deal about the people of that particular region.”

This seemed to have Uriel quite interested as they sat there for a few moments contemplating what Aziraphale said. If he were honest, Aziraphale hadn’t really thought that hard about _why_ he enjoyed eating. It had started as a way to blend in with the humans, just as most things he and Crowley had done over their many years on Earth. It didn’t take much for him to really begin to enjoy it as humans came up with more and more intriguing options.

“What does eating feel like?” Sandalphon finally spoke up, “Isn’t it unpleasant? Does it hurt?” His face was scrunched up like he truly expected something like eating to be painful. Aziraphale supposed he couldn’t blame him.

“You know, Sandalphon. The first time that I ever had a piece of food in my mouth, I had no idea what to do with it!” He thought back to when he had first seen Adam and Eve partaking of the food in the Garden of Eden. He had been so in awe of the humans as he sat on the Eastern Gate watching. He was supposed to be watching the outside of the wall for coming intruders. The demon that ended up being his life partner was proof of how swimmingly he had done his job. Yet looking at the love he now shared with said demon, he couldn’t regret it for an instant. “I believe the first piece I had tried was a grape. It felt so strange on my tongue and I had been so confused as to why Adam and Eve were enjoying it so much. Then my tooth scraped the skin and the juice flooded my mouth…” there was a noise beside him that seemed to be laugh being covered up with a cough and Crowley’s face was trying so hard to hold back his laughter that the color was becoming quite close to the shade of his flaming hair. “Oh, Crowley, don’t be so immature.”

“You said it, Angel. Not me.” He finally let himself laugh and it was the most beautiful sound in the world to Aziraphale.

The Principality looked out the windshield in embarrassment, “Yes, well… Just watch the bloody road, you foul fiend.” As they were now out of the city, the sidewalks of slush and mud had given way to light bits of snow across the open fields.

“Certainly, darling,” replied his demon and Aziraphale felt himself glow at the new nickname. He took that opportunity to reach for his lover’s hand and place in on his lap with their fingers intertwined.

“Aziraphale?” Uriel finally spoke again.

“Yes, Uriel?”

“Would you take us with you when you go out to eat next? The dishes we saw on television were so bright and colorful. I think we’d like to try them.” Sandalphon merely nodded in eager agreement. 

Gabriel’s head whipped around to Uriel so quickly with a look of pure shock and horror before he narrowed his eyes at Uriel and Sandalphon, “Really? You wish to sully your angelic bodies with human sustenance? Have you two no shame?”

Aziraphale felt that righteous fury from before building up inside him. It was amazing how quickly Gabriel’s attitude could make his blood boil lately. He opened his mouth, ready to tell Gabriel off again, when to his surprise Michael slammed the book down onto her lap and spoke up, “Oh come off it, Gabriel!” Her eyes were now spitting fire at the other Archangel and the rest of the car stared in stunned silence at Michael. She was normally so calm and collected, even when faced with embarrassment like giving “Crowley” a towel. Now they were seeing the being that had faced off against Lucifer in the War of Heaven, “All four of us are in deep trouble with the Almighty. I don’t like this assignment any more than you do, but face it. We’re a laughing stock Upstairs right now and the only one not taking this assignment seriously is you! We’re supposed to be playing nice with the humans and Aziraphale and Crowley are our only means of fulfilling God’s wishes. That means doing what the humans do, don’t you get it?” Here she showed her teeth and Aziraphale’s breath caught. He looked over at Crowley, who had his own mouth hanging open as his gaze moved from Michael through the rearview mirror and the country road ahead of them. Yet it seemed Michael wasn’t finished, “We screwed up, Gabriel. Somehow we got it _wrong_. Now we’re stuck here and we have to make the best of this. If you want to further destroy your reputation with Heaven, the Metatron, and the Almighty Herself,” she leaned closer to Gabriel, “Be. My. Guest. But you are not screwing this up for the rest of us. Get over yourself. It won’t be difficult for Heaven to find a replacement for you. Do know that I will be putting this in my weekly report.”

Finally done, Michael leaned back into her seat and picked up the book again. No one even dared to breathe and it was so quiet that the only sounds heard were the soft hums of the Bentley’s engine. Aziraphale had no idea what to say. He knew he would need to have a talk with Michael about this once they were in private. She was obviously taking this situation harder than he thought. It made him wonder if some unease had been building between Gabriel and Michael for a while. They worked together, but that didn’t mean they had to _like_ each other. He made a point to himself that he would invite her to tea at the bookshop after their trip and give her the opportunity to speak her mind. Maybe he needed to do the same with all of them. That would be a good start.

Crowley finally broke the silence, “_Ahem_, maybe we should put on the radio,” he said with a fake cheerfulness, “Angel, would you text Adam and Anathema to tell them we’ll be there soon?”

So Aziraphale pulled out the mobile phone Crowley had gifted him soon after the failed Armageddon as a means to speak with the children regularly. He still didn’t quite have the hang of things like social media, but Crowley had taught him how to text. He looked for Adam’s contact and smiled softly to himself as he thought of seeing the Them again. He so loved their visits together.

_We will be there soon, children. We have a surprise to share with you. Love, Aziraphale._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel needs to be taken down a peg.


End file.
